Life's a beach... Surf it up!

anubha's profileLife's a beach... Surf i...PhotosBlogListsMore

Other msn spaces I endorse


Meet Annirudh U'll really wanna paint the sky with smiles, after u read his wonderful stories and his brilliant narration.............he is a great novelist in the making.

Toon Factory Excellent cartoons & even better words ;-)

Lazeems World Colourful, lively space

Shalu_2173 Very Sweet suburb gurl.

Lord Krishna's reincarnation AKA Gopalagopala My History book, well read & has strong views about issues related to our heritage & culture

Luv_Gsm Whole World coming together on a little page.........very informative

The_Hawk Random Ramblings.......Honest & passionate bout work, ppl, things

Lola Very Mysterious, yet I love her views on my blog

Please do smile The munna bhai..........happy go lucky, uhhhh not a quack, a doc!!!

F3U Witty & thoughtful.........foe ??? I don think so.........a friend yes.

Indians always were surprised at the rate of breaking down of American marriages and nevah cud understand why it happenned. It happenned in Japan as well, where young women stopped getting married and the country's population growth plunged, so its not about western or eastern values, its about the price of success. Its happenning more and more in our cities. Despite having bigger cars and bigger houses, why aren't people happy??? Why are'nt people happier??? Is the price of success, breaking down of marriages and deteriorating health???

The reason is that the urban turmoil creates amazing frustration and negative energy in us. This makes us let our steam out at home. The relatively small issues become issue of big ego tussles and about man woman supremacy. Its because people are too involved in the mess they created in their urge to be successful, that they forget to say and do those little nice things that built relationships. Its coz they believe their dreams are bigger than their relationships. Its becoz in their urge to win the rat race that we are running away from the very happiness that made us participate in the rat race.

So do we leave the rat race and lead ordinary lives? Will that bring back happiness? I think the forgotten word here is "contentment". There needs to be a certain milestone in life, where a person needs to be satisfied with his achievments and look back at his life. If u keep lookin for "more" and "better", the rat race will end someday, and so will a lot else. 9% growth needs infrastructure and needs healthy people. We need to learn to balance material success and emotional stability. I think our generation faces the tough job, of making the transition from age of starving for consumerism to the age of plenty in more ways than one. The framework we develop will help our kids deal with a time of extraordinary opportunity and extraordinary challanges.

What can be that framework????????

Is the number of people trying to attack you without reason, the measure of your success???

In these competitive times, everyone loves a hero. Not to be inspired, not for any learning, but to vent out their own frustration or jealousy at him/her. People do not like cricketers makin money walking the ramp, or working ads. They do not like their colleague getting a promotion or the beautiful wife of their boss or their neighbour's new car. Is feeling negativity towards success becoming the norm of society. A person who does not feel envious of someone else's success is considered a dead dog.

Jealousy is probably as old on earth as probably love in this world. From being jealous in love, it has spread to other realms, so much that if u r not attacked by someone without reason, or if someone is not jealous, u can assume u r going in nowhere in life. No one is jealous of a "nobody". So if you are successful, the first place to see it is in other people's eyes. They would stop wanting to mingle with u, they would bad mouth u, to sumhow try to reverse your success if they can help it. They will not think about themselves as much they would think about you & all the misfortune that can befall you.

We all know what happened to Pramod Mahajan. So instead of worrying about jealous people, try to use them as a measure of your success, walk like an elephant, between the barking dogs & stay focused on your goals without responding to these sensless attacks, this is the best way to rub the lesser humans face into the mud. These days in most cases they are not the ones who are unfortunate, you are.

Is Capital Punishment an Eye for an Eye??

We recently saw two capital punishments handed out by our judiciary. One for betraying the country and attacking the parliament and the other for rape and murder. The first case seems to be headed for clemency, what could be the grounds of the second case being rarest of rare??? Will not Santosh kumar singh ask for the same mercy shown to Afzal??? Is raping and murdering a woman more heinous than attacking the most sacred institution of our country??? These questions beg an answer. Is capital punishment, an eye for an eye??? Will all of us have only one eye in the future becoz of this??? These are anti capital punishment activists’ stand. But if criminals of these kind of heinous crimes are not brought to justice, can u discourage criminals from smaller crimes, in a society full of lawlessness???

I believe capital punishment should be delivered in both cases, so that when the next time people plot such heinous crimes, they should fear death. Otherwise there will be many more Afzals and there will be many more Santosh Kumar Singhs. In a country where following precedents is the norm, this is a terrible precedent being set up. Countries like Singapore and Switzerland are crime free because of harsh punishments, and are progressive as well. In a society where the gap between the rich and the poor is increasing, being lenient in law, will provide easy recourse for people to vent their frustrations. While every effort should be made to provide equal educational opportunity to all, law must be upheld in the strictest possible sense of the term, if we want a civilized and just society.

We need to have zero tolerance for crime and terrorism so that life and property is protected at all cost. Because where u have no security, there can be no progress or investment and hence no growth. So stand up and be counted, demand death for both Afzal and Santosh Kumar Singh. Those who kill deserve to die. Those who are about to kill need to know the consequences.

What has changed after 9/11

Life after 9/11

As terrorism entered our drawing rooms after 9/11. The haves found a topic to discuss while they thought of not going to crowded place. The have-nots continue to die without understanding, what their fault is??? US ruined two countries and killed several thousand people. And Al-qaeda had 20k recruits in 2001, and has 50k now. So what has changed??? What has changed is this increased awareness that terrorism is an activity indulged in by the brown skin and if ur name sounds muslim, u have had it. Its racism back in a different color and in many ways is back because the economic power of the haves is again challanged by the have nots. Its not bout palestine, kashmir, bosnia, serbia etc. Its bout why lives are valued 100 times more if they are lost in America that in the third world. They say disease is a manifestation of a person's bad psychology. Terrorism is born out of the bad psychology America has and pursues of claiming to be a world leader and pursuing narrow national interests. Till the American psyche is cleared of the racial profiling, jewish bias, narrow nationalism, the diesease of terrorism will thrive. It will give America more wounds, than it will be able to heal. For countries like India, who cannot go on a killing spree, after a terror attack will keep watchin in silence as thousands of its "cheap" lives are lost everyday. And as media channels ape 9/11, calling our incidents 7/11, 13/11 etc, terrorism has become just another piece of reality tv. So what has changed after 9/11, for those who did not use public facilities, nothing, and for those who still do, everything.

Often terrorists claim to be fighting the cause of the commoners, by killing the commoners. This is the other irony. Terrorists shud target lawmakers and armed forces. The commoners are too powerless to make their own lives better, forget bout pressuring the govt to do something for the terrorists. The are forgotten in lists of people announced as dead after such incidents. Terrorism has redefined the fight between the haves and have nots, and also the effect on the haves and have nots. As always, only the have nots are ending up paying

Proud To Be Indian???????

I am adding this old blog again as it is very apt to the previous blog.

There was a time i was ashamed to be an Indian. We lost cricket matches with regularity. The economy grew at the "hindu" growth rate of 2%. "Made in India" was gaurantee of a defective product. People from other countries knew us as snake charmers and because of Taj Mahal.

Today the elephant has become a roaring tiger which bites. As the world respects us for our democracy, software skills, medical practitioners, not to forget Ms Aishwarya Rai and so much else. As we become the preffered destination of foreign capital. I am forced to think is it time to be proud of being an Indian, or is it a passing fad???

As we are proud of our economy, shud'nt we be proud of the 5000 year old culture. C'mon when the yanks can be proud of Mcdonalds and Microsoft, i think our language, literature and culture leaves much to be proud of. As all the export oriented services industry has proven that we have beaten the west at their own game. Its time to look inwards and learn and treasure the culture that is a source of inner strength. You need not act or talk or walk like americans to be more or as successful as them. But teach them that superior work is done while preserving values and ethics. At the same time, learn their professionalism and discipline.

In our rush to become the world's back office, assuming western names and learning their cultures to act and sound like them, I believe there has to be firmer grounding of our roots to preserve this growth. Otherwise this growth virus will attack the very source of this growth.

All said & done I've still seen many of Our ppl feeling ashamed to talk in Hindi or even have Indian food at a Resturant. R we a proud generation of this nation ??????

image by Jaume Ollé
Source: Gandhi National Museum, photo by Nozomi Kariyasu
Labelled in the display as 1904

Power Rage

Recently, I went to Europe and wondered, why these people were more efficient and needed fewer people to do most things. Why did they have better cars, hotels etc. How come these people were so progressive, when Indians are supposed to be the most intelligent. One of the glaring reasons was the excellent weather they had while most of India was under the heat wave. And also unlike us, they had no powercuts to deal with in sweltering heat. One of the great disadvantages this country has is its extreme weather conditions and our Govt, which thinks living without power is ok.

These days as Delhi is burnt in scorchin sun, and we bear it without power, its almost impossible to concentrate on any productive activity. I wonder how many man hours are lost because of extreme weather and the lack of power in this country. I think if the number of man hours lost and the money spent on alternative power sources like gensets and inverters is counted, you could build all the power plants many times over, that our needed to produce the power this country needs.

For all the gloating this country does, when Mittal wins Arcelor on their terms, we dun have power, higher or basic education or public health. And all three problems have come to haunt us in the last month. People are going smashing power offices, students on the street protesting reservation and a minister thinks AIIMS is his personal feifdom. And when we think why are we so backward, its because the other countries do not have these useless issues to deal with.

Is'nt it obvious these are problems, when will the govt wake up, or do we need to light candles at india gate, everytime something needs to be done???

7/9/2006 10:33:06 PM | Add a comment | Read comments (15) | Permalink | Blog it

Happy New Year

Hi friends

I am so happy that even though I did not write any blog in ages, everyone (almost everyone) visited my space & the some even tried to find where I was, I m so touched n very very pleased to have friends without faces.

Ok so where was I???????? Did I get over with the blog fever, as Alok rightly pointed out, it does after a while & the initial euphoria of writing intense thoughts no longer excites u, then most people simply disappear, like a few of our fellow bloggers vanished, leaving us to wonder if they were really what they told us or they were only fooling us all this while. (Pardon me friends if I m not making any sense or trying to make sense out of nothing)

My daughter had a bad viral fever for the last couple of weeks & it's all thanks to "Delhi ki sardi", every kid has cold, cough & they spread it around making it a vicious cycle. Her fever touched 104 degree Fahrenheit, and the kid who had practiced her dance steps for the good 3 months, never missed a single class even when she was unwell, suddenly gets this damn fever just 2 days before the show. I took her to the pediatrician (who wanted to hospitalize her, coz her fever wasn't coming down) that's when I told him that I want this gurl to perform onstage & it will be a big jolt to both of us, if she can't, he gave me a nasty look, almost disgusted with what I was telling him he said, "I can't believe u are worried about the show when your kid is so unwell". I felt very small too with the horrible thought & I hated myself for being insensitive.

I called all n sundry to inform that my kiddo won be able to perform & I wanted to cry each time I saw her costume, her shoes and remembered her excitement during her rehearsals. I spent two terrible sleepless nights, full of anxiety & all the negative thoughts, my daughter woke up at 6 0'clock in the morning, luking very fresh (still down with fever) and told me that she wanted to perform no matter what. I wanted her to go for the show too, but then she had fever & I only read about so n so star perform despite high fever, I had no idea how my daughter would go in that condition & all my well wishers including my hubs warned me against it as according to them this wasn't any Indian Idol show or anything, she wasn't an actress who had to go out there n perform.....................but for "HER" it was as big as it could be n she had to go, I was moved by the determination of this 6yrs old little gurl. I thought it was worth giving it a try, worse scenario would be her instructor would call me n ask me to take her home. I got up n fed her, bathed her, dressed her and then dropped her off to the stadium, where she had to go 4 hours prior to the show, I gave her all the medicines and informed her trainer, that she should let me know if there's any prob & she assured me that my daughter was in good hands I need not worry.

I came back home to get ready and go with my hubs and folks to watch her perform, my anxiety stayed with me & my mind was engulfed with all the negative thoughts, even when I was seated in the auditorium, I was so nervous. Came the announcement of my daughters item & I did not blink even for a second, my hands clapped non-stop, tears rolled through my eyes................I was so proud, it's difficult to explain in words, how much. My baby, my little darling jived on that number with a lovely smile on her lovely little, innocent face, she looked like the most beautiful kid in the world, the best and most amazing child, alomost like an angel. Well all parents think like this for their kids, but mine really luked like one that day.

I sighed and ran to pick her as soon as the song was over. She made me proud, very proud.

So now she's recovering from the fever, sum renovation going in the house, my computer not working...........and now writing from my mom's place. I hope to come back with a bang next week. Till then I hope all u guys party hard and bring in the New Year.

A very happy and a prosperous New Year to all of you..........may all ur dreams be fulfilled in 2006 & I hope n pray this year brings in peace throughout the world.

My Blogging Type & the meaning of my Birthdate

Here is sumthing different from the usual topics: My blogging type is

***Pensive and Philosophical***

You blog like no one else is reading...
You tend to use your blog to explore ideas - often in long winded prose.
Easy going and flexible, you tend to befriend other bloggers easily.
But if they disagree with once too much, you'll pull them from your blogroll!

Meaning of my Birthdate

Your Birthdate: December 20

You are a virtual roller coaster of emotions, and most people enjoy the ride.
Your mood tends to set the tone of the room, and when you're happy, this is a good thing.
When you get in a dark mood, watch out - it's very hard to get you out of it.
It's sometimes hard for you to cheer up, and your gloom can be contagious.

Your strength: Your warm heart

Your weakness: Trouble controlling your emotions

Your power color: Black

Your power symbol: Musical note

Your power month: February

N last but not the least I want to thank Neha, coz this particular link I got from her space.

Is It Good To Be Crude & Crude To Be nice?????

We were all first taught to be nice and then taught to be crude(or be selfish). What really does work??? I think being good and nice always helps in the long term as u end up making longterm relationships and always feel positive bout life. Sure it has costs, as some people are able to fleece u of small things in the short term. But over the longer term, people find u a genuines and a helpful person, it works.

Being crude, does not help u long term but does help in the short term. As people cannot get past u, no one can pehnao u the topi. U do not end up paying for being helpful or trustworthy coz u r niether. And in the long run people remember u as a mean and unhelpful person. Since u r always suspicious and negative, u do not make any long term friends and thus do not get anything out of those relationships.

Now it does seem from the above that being good is the way to go but it can be veryyyyyyy expensive. Can there be a way out of this??? Where u could be crude in the short term and be good and helpful in the long term. I think it is. Most people i have known in my life have needed my help at some point or the other. Only the nature of that help has varied. Sometimes that help has seemed more in the nature of trying to steal something from me and at other times it has been a genuine need. And i have had to take a judgement call, on what the person really wants. Sure sometimes i am right and sometimes i am wrong.

I believe the way u r going to be recalled by people is how often u take this judgement call correctly, but with practice, it is possible get it rite more often than not. This is the way to keep the flees at bay while spreading the good ness of humanity all around and building lasting friendships.

10/24/2005 11:13:57 PM | Add a comment | Read comments (20) | Permalink | Blog it

Why does winning and losing happen in streaks?

How does tendulkar hit 5 centuries on the trot and then get out for next to nothing in the next 5? How does Subash Ghai make hit films all these years and then keep failing for the last 4 yrs? Its coz all good and bad things in life come in bunches and its all in the mind. The challange of the individual remains to make the most of the winning streaks and lose least in the losing streaks.

Winning streaks happen becoz of tremendous positivity, great instinct and a momentum of success. Losing streaks happen becoz the same things that worked earlier stop working for some reason, negativity and a spiral of failure starts unfolding. The key to ending losing streaks is going back to basics and rectifying mistakes in basic techniques or attitude and identifying the ingredients of success and eventually the losing streak ends. The key is to keep doing the rite thing, even when things r not working out. During losing steaks, tread with caution, do not use too much aggression, wait for the streak to turn around

How to make the most of winning streaks? Take larger risks than usual when u r playing well and life is rolling along. The more risk u take during gud times leads to enormous gains. In winning streaks, maximum mileage is gained by putting ur foot on the acclerator and taking bigger bets, being aggressive when u can afford it. As u achieve more, nevah forget to plant a seed for the future. As the cycle turns to a losing streak again, the seed that u planted will help tide over that.

The key to overall winning in life is managing these losing and winning streaks and the key is prolonging wins and turnig loses. Winning is about consistency more than a one off event....

Story of a Picture

After much ado & thought I finally decided that I'll put up my pictures on my blog.

It requires lots of courage I must say, I am already feeling shitty. Why did I put those pics of me, all the people who liked me might detest my droppibg lips, n my front teeth aren't too good. But I love myself, that's what matters.

I've put few pictures, actually just five to begin with, in my Photos coloumn.

The picture of me, my husband & my daughter is very special coz it's taken at the monument of Love, my favourite Taj Mahal.

The picture of just the close up of my face hangs pretty on my wall in shades of balck & white & its a life size frame, which smiles at me when I am feeling low or depressed, it reminds me I luk better with a smile, even though I am not particularly fond of my teeth. But it's a very sepcial picture.

The picture of me standing against a door also stands in a life size frame on my wall, in shade of sepia, I often get mistaken by a poster in it & ppl think its a black & white era heroine. I love hearing the compliment, won't deny.

The one where I am smiling in a blue dress is also a very special picture, as it was taken when i was thinking sum special incident in my life, bout a special person, how lovely a sweet memory can make ur smile luk.

Hope you enjoy my seeing my pictures.

Does blogging take the disadvantages of Internet friendships away???

The criticism of internet friendships has been the lack of transparency and not actually knowing the person behind the id. Has blogging taken away that disadvantage bringing the real ppl and real thoughts face to face.

Blogging is allowing people to air their views on various issues. As various people read a person's views consistently on a variety of topics, it helps them understand the person and a level of transparency and trust builds between them. It allows them to get to know each others fears, weaknesses strengths, attitude, likes and dislikes without actually going through years of friendships.

In this day and age of instant everything, its important that people tell their stories which other identify with and feel part of a community in an increasingly lonely real world. Blogging, very differently from chatting is delving into important issues of the new millineium and is putting in place a barrier to entry to people with either shallow thoughts or behavior, if one may choose not to indulge.

People are choosing groups and associations of their choice which in previous internet communication has been impossible. It is indeed the new paradigm in internet thought and relationships. It has the intimacy of a long lasting friendships without some of the disadvantages of annoynimity that internet offers.

Can Negetivity Make you Suceed ???

We all have negativity. Its an emotion that comes naturally to all of us. Negativity includes emotions like anger, jealousy, self destruction etc. Everyone has these unwanted traits, the politicians, the sportsmen, the professionals, the businessmen and even terrorists. Emotional people often fail at most things in life. Are winners non emotional. No everyone is emotional. Why do some of people in all of these categories succeed while others fail or remain mediocre performers???

The ones who succeed at most things in life are the ones who channelise this negativity into a fire in the belly and deliver. Negativity is a form of tremendous energy which if used properly can propel human beings to great heights. We have often heard cricket captains saying, we will play positive cricket, or businessmen being positive about the future. To think positive, u need to turn negative energy on its head, have a passion for the rite course of action. Those who can motivate themselves to pursue positive goals with the same energy that negativity generates succeed in their life's mission.

Negativity can destroy a person. Anger, jealousy, prejudice etc can consume a person's will to win. You need to learn to keep urself away from these emotions. But still there is negative energy produced in every individual which he/she can use for relentless pursuit of his/her life's goal. What motivated Sachin Tendulkar to hit balls for years to become a great batsmen, what motivated Gandhi to spend his entire life fighting for people's rights???Where did they get this extraordinary energy from??? They just used the negative energy that we all have for a positive cause.

So if u r feeling angry, jealous or stressed out about something u can't change, take urself away from these feelings, set a goal for yourself and then just pursue it as relentlessly as the negative feelings that followed u for years, and in a couple of years people will know u for ur deeds, not ur emotional outbursts. It works, believe me.....

Is losing innocence a gain???

I was watching "Dil Chahta Hai" the other day, maybe to celebrate friendship day. Its a good movie not only coz of its story but becoz it succeeds in bringing out the most beautiful relationship that a person experiences in his life which is friendship without motive.

I was a little cynical bout the friendship day like father's day, mother's day etc etc till I started watching the movies and remembered all those lost friendships from school to college to university. The growing up, the pranks, the infatuations we all went thru as we grew up. How the innocence of those friendship took the bitterness away from life. As we grew older, and careers took over, those innocent friendships started getting lost and instead life's focus became networking and contacts.

Does innocence or innocent relationships have a meaning in life???

As I now reach a stage where my network and my life is in place, I long for those innocent friendships again where u cud let ur hair down, where u did not have to put ur best foot forward. Those college friendships where u cud go and discuss probs, without being worried of showing weakness to the other person. That taking for granted of ur best friend, knowing that she understood u even when u were wrong.

Real life can be ruthless, u r ruthless to competitors as they r to u. There is room for that innocent friendship, that laughter bout nothing, the healing and honest listening that only a friend can give u. Often becoz of all the pressure from career and life, we tend to let friendships go into the background and lose those friends who long as much to have u back as u do now.

The day after I saw "Dil Chahta Hai", my long lost friend from college called me and we both accepted that we missed each other a lot but just kept postponing meeting up, coz something came up. But I am glad it finally happened.

Its time to call that friend now, the one who spent those innocent years with u many years ago. To hear that familiar voice, and u will feel alive again, that familiar chuckle. Sure life is rough, u have a kid and spouse breathing down ur neck, but there shud be a time to let ur hair down and laugh like u did once with some who u loved doing it with..

Happy Freindship Day

Hi been a little busy, well din have a gr8 weekend though coz I was a lil unwell so I realized only in the afternoon that it was friendship day, it was also Teej ( festival my parental side celebrates so had folks over) & my daughter celebrated her 6 and a half year b'day, that's a norm in my family that me and my daughter celebrate our b'days every six months, ofcourse the original one is a grand affair. I forgot to wish everyone personally but then you know how illness and folks coming together can be.

But luckily it hasn't struck twelve yet & I still got time to wish all the wonderful friends that I made during all these months (barely 2 months of blogging and I know some wonderful people) & those who take the pain to visit my site, "A Very Happy Friendship Day"

Just want to tell all those special people whom I've met on this space, that u make all the difference in my day to day life. I have a low phase at times & sumtimes I am simply having a bad hair day, but your comments just change the gloomy day into a beautiful sunny one. I appreciate the effort you take to comment & how all of you have made a special place in my heart, which just amazes me that how sumone sitting far in some country or a city I've never seen, sumtimes don't even know their names (well I know names of almost all the important ones) can bring a smile on my face so effortlessly. I want to say you mean a lot to me.

I am a little partial so I want to take the opportunity to thank those special friends who are very dear to me, but then I know a few diligently read my space everyday & it would be unfair to them as well as those who commented once or twice. I know everyone I wanted to name already knows how special they are to me. Thanx

Hope all of you are as Happy in your life as you make me, and have a gr8 prosperous, healthy lives.

Happy Friendship day to everyone.

Bride Viewing- Is what u see really what u get ???

The other day sitting at a hotel we saw several sets of bride viewing parties. As the prospective grooms and brides went to seperate tables to talk, there were several others in the cafeterias which found it all quite funny. Is this age old custom where busloads of relatives go to do bride viewing a farce or an idea whose time has come???

To some it wud appear, its silly where families meet and the boy and girl are given only 2-3 meetings to decide if they wana take the plunge from the cliff. Sure western and now indian movies wud make this practice appear obsolete. But i have seen that in the very advanced US of A, unless u have a supreme fig and personality and extremely lucky, ppl r having probs getting around to meeting significant others and are now resorting to this sort "arranged" marriages or live in relationships using dating services.

The problem appears to be that dating and career seem to be hitting ppl at the same time. As making gud careers now become extremely challanging, our age old practice of "bride viewing" is making an appearence in various forms around the world. The benefits of the indian style of bride viewing appear to be that elders assess the suitability of culture and background of the concerned boy/girl, where boys and girls wud assess other aspects which may be of more immediate and physical nature.

Dating services in our country require due diligence to avoid risk of fraud and that due diligence is accomplised by the parents of the boys and girls. Whether its a dating service or bride viewing the fact is ppl are getting less and less time to fall in love and this kind of meeting with a purpose may be essential. Gone our the days of a nervous girl carrying a tray with tea, bride viewing has today gone to the hotels, where meeting as much of the family as possible has become the goal, so reforms are happening here as well.

So to all those who find these ageold customs funny, its the need of the hour and the times. If u found the one u loved urself walking down the street maybe u were lucky but still key background checks and compatibility questions need to be addressed. This is coz life is not just a honeymoon, life starts beyond the honeymoon. While its gud to be progressive, looking down on a practice that is Indian just coz its originated here is not the way to go.

Is bride viewing needed in these times???

8/4/2005 9:34:10 PM | Add a comment | Read comments (19) | Permalink | Blog it

Why we hurt those we love most

Why we hurt those we love most?

This is a question that bothers most of us at some point or the other. Is it a misunderstanding of intentions? Is it the intensity of our feeling towards that person that leads to it? Is it that person's expectation that is belied?

Sometimes our good intentions fly at our face as our loved one feels hurt by then very intention meant to please him/her. I think this is the key test of a relationship and if only we could wear the other person's shoes, we know that he/she did not mean any harm to us. If only we can always avoid acting in an oversensitive manner to everything that our significant other does or does not do. If only we understood the other person like we understand ourselves.

Most of these instances happen becoz men and women are constituted differently. While there are many books and consultants on this topic. No one has been able to master this difference of genders. At such points it is key to think positively and avoid the natural negativity that engulfs us. We need to think bout all the gud that person has done to us and assess him/her in an overall sense, that based on that instance. Instead of expecting him/her to act similar to us, we shud respect our differences. To know each others' likes and dislikes so that we know what can hurt.

The challange remains how to create a machine with different components and make it run efficiently. How to look beyond shortcomings and revel in each other's happiness and success. On how to avoid making this hurt into a prejudice and stop it from guiding future actions. On how to become better individually brilliant yet collectively successful.

Are we more screwed up than our parents ???

The broken barriers of our generation include :

~ The wife going out to work, sumtime even at nite.

~ Open marraiges, where multiple partners maybe acceptable.

~ Ruthless business environment, which demand constant innovation or which threatens constant obsolance.

~ Salaried jobs which have moved on from being just nine to five.

~ Aspirations where no price is too much.

Comapre this what are parents had to go through:

~ Most wives stayed at home, not only at night but all the day long managing the house ( there were exceptions.........my mum was a working woman )

~ Once married both husband and wife stopped even luking at other men & women with any kind of relationship intention.

~ Business environment which was developing one product and milking it for 30 yrs.

~ Salaried job meant warming a chair for 8 hours and getting paid at the end of the month.

~ Aspirations were low as nothing much was available.

A lot of ppl from our generation are getting illneses like heart attack, back pains, anxeity, etcetra, much earlier than the expected age of 50 plus. Are we indeed breaking barriers or breaking our backs ???? Is all this leading to a better quality of life or was having less was having more ???

Are we moving in a vicious cycle, like a dog trying to bite its own tail ? Was contentment and a simple life better than this onslauught of consumerism and rat race for survival ???

Are we really more happy or more screwed up & will it get worse ???

Is Prince Charles happier Than B4 ???

In life most things are understood better the second time around, including LOVE. Middle age romance is love that happens to a person generally the second time around. If middle age romance is the first romance in a person's life than he's really missed out. We all know how pre-marital romance ends.

Middle age romance is at its best when a person has already been married and has lead a screwed up life, post marriage. Middle age romance tends to be better coz generally both parties have suffered earlier. It is also better coz the man often remembers to do all that he used to 4get earlier. The lady has probably learnt maturity and how to give more space. Middle age romance is love with grey hair, it knows what mistakes not to make. It knows the rewards of being loved and cost of loneliness.

The question here is would middle age love be the same had the parties not failed earlier ?? Is it the age or the experience of failure that makes it a success ?? Why does a man leave Princess Di for Camilla Parker Bowles ???

As most marriages becum loveless, middle age romance raises questions that need to be answered. Divorce rates in the US have dropped, not becoz marriages are more successful but coz ppl are living in more and marrying less. Does middle age love fulfill needs or create more instability in an institution that has survived the test of time. It raises the most basic question that does a person live for himself/herself or for others ????

Why can't UK & US police catch terrorists on their own ???

In the last few years UK & US have not been able to catch a single terrorist or a cell b4 an event. Their "WAR" against terror is restricted to attacking countries and "Shock & awe ".

While the real terrorists keep getting away and new ones keep comin up. Police work does not mean just sitting around in cars, or computerized data alone, police work means developing sources at the right places and doin the hard work to get information. This is the reason why sub continent police is much more superior at fighting terrorism as has been shown by the gunning down of several of them b4 there was an incident.

The US & UK police in the name of fighting terrorism, the UK & US administrations start hypocrisy at airports & other places, like if sumone has a beard u detain him & insult him.............if sumone uses a "MUSLIM" name refuse him visa on silly ground, but the real terrorists keep getting away. These silly countries drunk on arrogance don't realize that a terrorist comin in2 their country may use neither a Muslim name nor a beard. There is a lot they can learn from us if they've to catch terrorists.

The western countries can only beat up weak countries & that too with a coalition of many countries, but do they've the skills to fight terror at home ???

Is Love At First sight "LUST" ????

Can choosing a significant other be a matter where u do less due diligence, than when buying a TV ?? Does sumone having a beautiful body and maybe a pleasing personality mean that he / she will definatly be compatible ???

Love at first sight is concept difficult to understand. It probably works well with animals who are unable to communicate as effectively. Love has to be mating of the mind, body & soul. Love at first sight addresses only of those issues. Sum ppl would think that they had gut feel bout the person, only to find out that the gut feel was always rite, except on this occasion.

To find a perfect mate for the body, mind & soul it requires spending a long time and thru several issues which can hardly be done in a sweet lil two month courtship.

In the long run, love tests a persons resolve, commitment, tolerance & ability to take pressure. The general bollywood concept of falling in love in five minutes, probably encourages 80% of Loves at first sight. The only bollywood movie which grinds u thru love is " HUM TUM "& that is how u find true love.

So is Love at first sight or Love thru Grinding, True LOVE ????

Is Rape A Crime Of Passion ???

I am from the city of RAPE (Delhi). I write from the city of BPO ( Gurgaon ), as I think about the opportunity and threats to women from an emerging economy.

From being used sumtimes as doormats, sumtimes as machines for producing boys, the women in metropolitans are beginning to assert themselves as powerful contributors to the BPO, outsourcing/nite shift mania. Not only is this providing financial independence but gr8 emotional and professional satisfaction of being able to do what men consider "WORK". The beauty of this new sector is that from very humble beginnings and minimal education a person can rise professionally and be groomed as a team leader.

Naturally this does not appeal to sum men who unable to compete on the professional front and believe this new found status of women is not deserved by them. RAPE is not an instrument of sexual pleasure but an instrument of bending a woman in2 submission ( generally happens to more confidante ones ). Rape is probably the most uncomfortable type of intercourse, least of all in moving cars ( the recent DU gurl rape ) and making sure that she pays for coming out of the house and her gain in confidence.

While such incidents remain isolated but they r growing in numbers as nite is the most convenient time for such incidents.

While a growing economy provides gr8 opportunity to women but it also leads to growing crime against them. A non-functional police and a hands off companies seldom help. What is the choice for this emerging new woman as she battles to get ahead in life, in a system which tries to push her back all the time ????

As We travel through life................

Journey of Life

It begins as a baby when we all come in to this world learning the good things of life, like food, breathing, parents, hygiene. The we go to school and find teachers who teach us how to talk, write and read. As we start watching movies, our mind starts getting dirty and we know there r some bad guys out there. As we reach teens, certain changes start occurring in our body and we become confused. As those confusions clear out towards the later teens, we go through persual, courtships, deceit, ditching, getting over and under it, wink.

Then we go to college and learn that one has to earn in order to maintain the grand lifestyle our folks afforded us. Once u r done with college, u figure out, no one wants u coz u got no experience and u need a degree in life in order to succeed. So after many years of moving laterally, trying to fig out what u want to do, u finally land up doing what u like.

Then all ur friends r getting married around u, so u think time to do it. As married life continues over the years, u realise its not what it first looked like. So u start concentrating more on ur work and become successful and people out side start to recognize u. Life falls into sum sort of an apple cart, and u don't disturb it.

Soon kids leave home to study & work, and u r left trying to figure out if it was all worth it ? But this is the cycle of life, where u r continuously getting marked, as u move to each phase of life. The difference is that ur 10th, 12th, graduation, post grad, ect. gave u certificates where as the other phases like courtship, marriage, family, kids, health, middle age and then old age all have challenges and its important not to do very badly in any one phase coz it screws up the overall average. It applies to ur life as it does to ur grades.

Journey of life is a series of grades, where you are getting marked at every stage.

Is Internet The Disease Or Therepy ???

Recently I read that kids in China & Japan sitting on the net for 14 to 15 hrs a day were declared ill. The cure for this illness was found to be, giving them electric shocks. Are people spending too much time on the net bound to fail just like the dotcom companies in the year 2000. The problem with dotcom companies was that they looked to create a business out of the net. But the companies which did succeeded in using the net were those which had successful offline businesses & used the net as delivery mechanism.

Similarly people who use the net to run away from life assuming false identities, creating a virtual world around them, having impossible net relationships are bound to be called ill. The net as with companies is used successfully by people, who are successful in real lives and to use the net as a delivery mechanism to further their business, personality and relationships.

You cannot be an unsuccessful person in real life and hope to change all that by hiding on the net. The problems of real life remain where they are and even grow while you hide.

Are we really using it as a therapy or suffering from a disease ???

Proud to be Indian???